Thursday, November 24, 2016

On Raising A Perfect Child

FACT: Nobody's perfect.
BITTER TRUTH: When someone points out our imperfections, while it is constructive, we will still be affected by it.

We all know that it is hard to be a parent.  In my case, it's twice the difficulty because I have to discipline my child both as a mom and a dad.  To be honest, there are times that I break down because I am the only one who absorbs all life's difficulties and I pray to God that He gives me a partner so that there would be someone whom I can rely on to when life is getting tough and that there will be someone who can help me in solving problems that I face in daily situations.

Parents have this desire to raise a 'perfect' child, a child that they can be really proud of in all aspects--academically, socially, physically, etc.  Parents expose their children to all avenues to fully develop their potential and to be perfect in the eyes of everybody.  

But is there such thing as 'perfect' child?

Well, all of us already know the answer to this question.  

Sometimes, we feel disheartened when we hear some negative comments about our child.  We have a tendency to think if we lack on disciplining our child.  Worse, we feel awful about ourselves that we feel we are a bad parent because people have pointed out our child's misbehavior.  On the other hand, some parents think otherwise; they are in defense of their child's behavior, not accepting the fact that their child behaves differently when he/she is with others, and take it as a form of character assassination to discredit their child.  

Kib is a very confident and assertive child, but his behavior can sometimes go way beyond the normal.  Some people may no longer tolerate his behavior because he is already a pre-teener.

I recently heard a comment about Kib's behavior.  While I appreciate that comment because I also needed validation from others on how Kib behaves on social situations, it also made me think about my parenting skills.  It made me think about myself if I am lacking focus on my child because I'm too busy with other things.  I even thought if Kib has special condition (ADHD) because he is so malikot and uncontrollable.

I had this pep talk with my son about his behavior.  What is good about Kib is that when he knows he is at fault, he will say sorry to the offended party.  I told him to apologize and he immediately did that.  He was also reminded by the person not to do it anymore.

While on the car, I further talked about his behavior towards others.  I reminded him to always observe proper decorum when we're on a different place and he has to be always courteous when talking with other people.  I was so upset at the situation that I asked him if I'm a bad parent.  I know he felt bad about the comment too, but I just reminded him to be refined in his actions because he is already big and he can already understand things.  

I also confirmed with my friends about my feelings on parenting Kib.  One friend assured me that what I'm feeling is normal, that there are times that we think we lack discipline to our children when other people made a remark about our child's behavior.  Another friend also reminded me that as parents we can only do so much in disciplining our child.  One more friend just simply reminded me not to dwell so much about the comment, because she sensed that I was really bothered about it.

While doing some reflection about this, I was also reminded by this verse: "Train up a child in a way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)  It is a reminder for me that it's still not too late to instill the values I want my son to have so that he will grow up to be a fine young man.  

Haaayyy!!!!  It's really hard to be a parent.  I don't regret being a mom to my son, but the challenges of raising a fine individual can be really tough and testing my patience and tolerance in daily living can bring a lot of stress to me.

I know the Lord is with me to help me raise a God-fearing child.  While I may not raise a perfect son, I know that I can raise a God-fearing child.  

Lord, please help me to be a better parent to my son, Amen.


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