"The struggle is real."
That is what you will hear from most people who at first can't understand the situation, but once they get to experience it, they will soon realize that what others say is real and undeniable.
It is easy for us to say to escape an abusive relationship but in reality, it isn't especially if there are lots of factors to consider why some people opted to stay.
Netflix series' Maid is about a young woman who finds the courage to set herself free from an abusive relationship. Alex Russell (Margaret Qualley) leaves her live-in boyfriend in the middle of the night together with her two-year old daughter, without any idea on where to go. With no money and no family to rely on, Alex sought help from the shelter for abused women. Alex worked as a maid (thus the title) to start on her feet again and to provide for the needs of her daughter. She started writing to apply in college in Missoula, Montana, and left her hometown to start a new life there.
Women who experienced violence and abuse in their previous relationships can easily relate with the series. They know how hard it is to start again especially if you do not have money. Alex took a leap of faith of leaving the house with nothing on her pocket. All she wanted was to be free and to provide her daughter, Maddy, a good life.
In addition, this series also show what emotional abuse is. It does not need to have bruises and wounds to be considered as an abused individual.
Here are the five things why I love this movie series:
1. It is relatable. Yes, even if you didn't come from an abusive relationship, any woman can easily relate with the main character. You can feel the stress, the complexity of her situation, the helplessness, the will to fight, the determination to succeed, among others.
2. You don't need to have bruises to be regarded as an abused individual. Psychological/verbal abuse does not leave any scars or bruises in the body. Alex is obviously an abused individual as she seemed to be blank at times. She may not exhibit the "classic" looks of a psychologically abused person (e.g. downcast, crying all the time, depressed, etc.), but as you continue to watch the whole series, it's becoming very obvious. She appeared to be stoic and apathetic and clueless.
An abused individual who does not show the very obvious looks does not mean he/she does not need help. You need to probe further and try to put yourself in the abused individual's shoes to feel and realize that he/she needs help.
3. It is hard to start all over again if you don't have money and don't have a strong support group. In the movie series, it seemed that Alex was an unlucky girl: she was a product of a broken family, her father used to abuse her mother, her mother has a mental disorder, her friends do not believe that she was abused, and she did not have a job. Alex was a woman who does not have anywhere to go. However, there were concerned women who guided her to get back on her feet.
I always say to my single mom friends to find ways to earn money to raise their kids and do not rely on the financial support of the absentee father. Expect that the financial support will be not enough or worse, no support at all.
4. It is hard to escape a relationship when your confidence is shaken. It is a reality that if a woman's confidence was shaken, she becomes fully dependent on the abusive partner. She feels that no one will love her anymore because of her ugly past. In the movie, there is an abused woman who went back to her husband despite being abused over and over again. The woman felt incomplete because she left her husband even if she is not happy in the relationship.
If women will only realize that they can have a life after leaving an abusive relationship, they can be truly free in spirit and in truth.
5. Mothers will do everything to protect their children from an abusive relationship. Alex only wanted the best for her daughter. She will do everything to give her daughter a good life without seeing any form of abuse from her estranged partner. It was also shown in the middle of the series that Alex's mother also left her father because of abuse.
It is an instinct that mothers don't want their children to be raised in an abusive relationship. I have seen a lot of mothers wanting to leave their domestic homes because of abuse. They also wish that their children will not witness and be victims of abuse too.
I pray that all women in abused relationships be free and find their peace with the Lord. The Lord is the only one who can free them and give them the lives they deserved. God is the god of the fatherless, so don't fear that your children will grow up without a father figure.
Maid is a movie series that every woman should watch!
